Category Archives: Things to Avoid

Bumblebees

안녕하세요 여러분. 잘 지내 있어요?

It has been a very long time, hasn’t it? What have I done all this time? Well, I worked and sat at home, then worked a bit more. Got vaccinated. Finally made the first trip and visited Montreal, seen friends whom I haven’t seen since 2014. One of them trolled the rest to take the zipline, and we did. It was scary but fun. So expect the apocalypse since I have done something a little scary. There’s no way the world will not come to an end after I did that, just for your information.

As evident from the opening sentence, I took a Korean beginner’s class, so now my knowledge in Korean is official, and it’s still better than my Swedish. I might continue to the next level, but courses are still online, and it still feels weird to take a class over zoom.

What else have I been up to? Let’s see, breaking hearts on Bumble BFF. I started using the BFF when I was in US. My own bee moved across the continent, I was in search of another one within the vicinity of Baltimore, and Meet-ups were full of single bees in search of their “partner in crime”! There weren’t many women using BFF, but I still met with a few. Then moved to Toronto, you know the rest, lockdown!

Meet-ups seem more promising in Toronto since it’s a bigger city. But I still use the BFF to meet with different people from time to time, and I do really meet with “different” people. There are

  • ghosters who stop replying. I, myself, am guilty of this occasionally. I don’t see the point in being the person to ask all the questions. Or, when I am completely fed up with seeing people on a screen, I disappear without a trace.
  • helloers who say hi/hello as the opening sentence. You should say hi back if you are in the mood or proceed to the next match.
  • word haters who will do everything in their power to write a single letter reply. This is a real talent I envy!
  • duck facers from whom I apologize because I did judge those photos, decided that I didn’t want to be seduced into a friendship, and never gave you any chance.
  • rebounders who have just broken up from their partners and are claiming their identity back. Kudos! It’s a tough time.
  • you-knowers who assume that I understand their struggle because I am coming from a country where the dominant religion is Islam. Sorry but I never was in-between believing and not believing. I believe in not believing, so that part of your struggle I truly don’t understand.
  • clingers who think that I am going to message every day. I don’t message my family or my two-decade-old friends every day. Plus, you, whom I met once, are the last person I will care about when I had lost my grandmother. Should I have asked how you are, sorry, my bad!
  • matchmakers who will try to match you up with a friend of theirs from the very first meeting. You can quickly spot them as they will casually steer the conversation towards “your ideal type” and also casually drop a reference to their “friend,” who is a “great person.”

… and many more. I suppose if the women I talked to were writing their own blog posts, I would be in the “weirdo” or “nerd” category, haha, maybe even under “judgmental.” We all have our own differences. Most of it is understandable, except this last category, the matchmakers. I am appalled by this untimely behavior. Get to know me and learn what I want first, will you?

Do I send a “find me a husband” message on Bumble BFF that I am not aware of? 2 out of 4 women I had met this past year had graciously tried to set me up with a friend of theirs. Both times I had a strong desire to leave the table without saying a word quietly (I didn’t, a mistake? who knows…). I justify their actions by saying they are doing this out of their goodwill; they mean no harm.

Yet… Yo, what the frak!!!! What makes you think I am going to trust you, the stranger, to find me someone. Helloooo, we met on Bumble; do you think I haven’t seen the “date” section? I am also one hundred percent certain that you don’t know a man that can steal my heart if you dare to set me up without getting to know me.  So from now on, I am married if anyone asks my status on BFF, Uber, or UberEats… Let’s see how many more apps I am going to add to that list and how many more fake husbands I am going to invent.

Baltimore

Yeap, this entire city is on my things to avoid list. From what I heard, I should add the entire country to things to avoid list. Have you people heard about maintenance in this land?

There was a freaking cockroach in the office. There are labs in this building, how can you host pests?

Don’t get me started on the building I am living in. I have lived in a relatively old building in Sweden, but I have never seen something like this. Old doesn’t do justice here. It’s like abandoned. No proper hot water in the shower (this is the whole reason why I’m so pissed off), a very dirty noisy horrible heating/ac system, ridiculous blinds whose piece falls of once a month, no cold water in the kitchen, walking closet shelves painted with wall paint that will certainly stain my clothes if not for the towels I have laid, the kitchen wall paint is water based while it should be oil based because you know it is the fraking kitchen, there is a huge space between the walking closet door and the floor so if there is a flood in the bathroom that is the first place to get fraked up, oh oh oh the bathroom was disgusting, kitchen cabinets are a joke that I want to meet the person who designed them in person (just because they are old doesn’t mean the design should be stupid)….

Where am I living? I shouldn’t tell, probably I am breaking some shitty rule written somewhere in my contract which I should have read in detail.

Aaaand don’t! don’t tell me there are people out there dying. I know that. I didn’t come here easy, I just want the fraking things I have been buying with the money that I earn with my brain, blood and sweat.  Ok mostly brain, so what?!