Dear Fate

I should tell you all about life after obtaining the title PhD, what my next plans are or how happy I am to be part of a great article soon to be out on Nature Communications, or how on earth I came to open up a happn account… but I won’t. Instead I will tell you all about my tinnitus, and muscle pain. 

I know stress is a great factor in worsening the symptoms but, honestly, I have done everything in my power to reduce that and damn! I did a good job. There is nothing better than watching korean dramas, cooking, throwing out all those article prints, cleaning the junk I accumulated for work, reading books, devouring the remaining Running Man episodes, reaching out to people, slowly getting more social, joining a book club meeting or two, … Yet, tinnitus is at full speed and the pain at the muscle biopsy site got worse.

Taking walks and trying to stretch (I don’t dare call it yoga yet) doesn’t help with my cramps. Not sure if it will ever do. Also, why on earth a biopsy site would hurt after over a year? I hope there is no further muscle damage.

And these stupid drums together with the never ending “end-broadcast” TV signal in my head… Oh those stupid noises. I still refuse the TMJ diagnosis. I know I have jaw problems but it has nothing to do with tinnitus. It has everything to do with my blood circulation, neck problems and (I bet my life on it) my hormone levels.

You know what would be perfect right now? A running man episode featuring MBC drama W. I would forget all my issues and all the issues in the world for an hour and a half. I would also won’t say no, dear fate, to a doctor plus researcher that is willing to get to the bottom of my tinnitus problem.

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